On twenty-six

While writing this, I'm presently on a train to Flam in Norway. I slept last night after watching about an hour of Saathiya, and had a pretty stressful morning (woke up on a cruise, an hour after departure and three hours after I was supposed to - probably should start setting more alarms). So in a lot of ways, right now there's a lot going on during this solo trip.

In other ways though, this trip has been quite peaceful and despite some turbulence, it's been a lot closer to this notion of "I'm not alone, I'm with myself". As time on this journey progresses, I'm reminded more and more who I am and what it means to be Maanav.

It's weird because this isn't my first solo trip - at 22, I went to a small town outside of Madrid named Alcorcon and it started a disaster. I didn't know what to do with myself and felt alone, literally on the verge of tears on night seven. Now while I did pick myself up, make friends, and make the most of the rest of my time in Spain, that lonesome feeling is one that stopped me from doing more solo travel over the years.

I recently got back from a month alone in Peru, and I was lucky to reconnect with friends and make new ones too. This trip, however, is intentionally planned as being solo. As I navigated the streets of Copenhagen and plan to Hike the Fjords of Norway, I feel more confident knowing that I can enjoy the time spent by myself.

Back to the topic at hand, I've learned a few things that seem straightforward, but are worth mentioning

Learning about yourself

When people say things like 'I need to discover who I am', it really has to do with a rediscovery instead of a definition. People can and do change all the time, but I'm referring more to the idea that being alone in the quiet enables you to remember who you've always been without the noise. It's like the concept of not having to appeal to everyone on a group trip - when you're alone, you get to do everything you want at your pace (or end up doing very little and that's okay too).

A few things this has reminded me about Maanav:

• He likes coffee shops, and specifically coffee shop conversations with strangers. Every time I've sat down at a coffee shop, it's turned into a 30+ minute conversation. This happened in Japan too, but especially here I was reminded about how fun it is to get to know someone, if only for a brief moment in our lives (insert the tumblr cringe lines intersecting thing from 2013)
• Meandering is in his DNA, but intentional meandering is more satisfying. While it's easy to hop into every store with shiny wares, it's especially interesting to me when they satisfy a purpose. In Copenhagen, I visited so many different stores with the express purpose of inspiration - both fashion and home decor. I felt staisfied since this energy was harnessed, leaving with pictures and ideas for the future instead of just leaving stores emptyhanded.
• Work is allowed to be whenever. I used to think work was okay being just a job, but as [Dr. K](Healthygamergg link) once said many moons ago, you should probably be happy working daily. As I transition into a new working phase of my life, I'm learning that as long as the work truly excites me, it's alright to work whenever (namely, outside of the societally defined M-F 9-5). There are times I'm really dreading working at 9am sharp, and other times I'm happy to work at 7pm on a saturday night. Just food for thought.
• He's always gonnna figure it out. In cases of no wifi, a bruised knee, waking up 4 hours after schedule, or panic, I've always been able to take a breath and figure it out. I remember getting lost at seaworld at the age of ten, and my dad taught me to breathe and think instead of panic, so I took a breath and found a crew member to help me relocate my family. My mom was in tears (and very quickly after, enraged), but I took my dad's words to heart and to this day believe that in every situation, I can take a breath and figure it out (even when I'm 15,000 feet on a mountain and can barely breathe).